K-075 Karakoçan, Turkey

 1 Niha jî em ji xwe ra piçek soḥbet bikin. Piçek baḥsa xwe bikey, biçûkatiya xwe, zarokatiya xwe, li ku mezin bûy filan bêvan?
Now let’s have a chat together for a while. Talk a bit about yourself, about your childhood, where you grew up, so on and so forth.
 2 Aslinda navê min **** e, ama tevekî yanî Kurd dizanin kî jiyana xu tam nikarin hanî jiyan bikin yanî. Ji boy wî, o li Elaziẋê jî her tișt daha zor e. Yanî gora Amedê, gora Hekariyê, pir pir zortir e.
Indeed my name is ****, but like everyone, the Kurds know that they cannot just live their lives. For that reason, and in Elazig everything is even more difficult. Compared to Amed, or to Hakkari, it is much more difficult.
 3 Çunkî li wê derê, zîhniyeta wê derê pir berbat e. Ji bo/ ber wî bavê min navê min kîmlik da degîș kiriye, ê xușkê mi jî degîș kiriye. Daha doẋrûsû yanî hînkî mecbûr maye.  
Because there the mentality is awful. For that reason my father changed my name on my identity card, and he also changed (the names of) my sisters. Actually he was somewhat obliged to do so.
 4 Navê te yê rastî?
What is your real name?
 5 ******* e, aslinda. Lê di kîmlîk da **** e.
It is *******, in reality. But on my identity card it is ****.
 6 Tu li Elaziẋê mezin bûyî?
Did you grow up in Elazig?
 7 Erê Elaziẋê mezin bûm.
Yes, I grew up in Elazig.
 8 Te li wir xwend?
Did you study there?
 9 Li wê derê jixo, çûçiktiya me, yanî ez û sê ḥeb xușkê xwe em “yatili”yê xwendin. Êê jixo, Kurmancbûn ayri hanî yatilî jî ewk bû. Daha jî hinkî jiyana meriv daha jî zehmet dibe.  
There, in any case, during our childhood, me and my three sisters went to boarding school. Apart from me being a Kurd, the boarding school was also like/ That is, my life was even more difficult.  
 10 Çunkî hem îdolojiyê wê derê bellî ye, hem sebît/, hanî sebî î pir hanî ferqa tișkî nîne ama ti vî basqiya, îster îstemez, çiqasî jî sebî bî jî hanî ser xu da hîsetmîș tikî yanî.  
Because the ideology of that place is obvious, and also you are a kid, okay as a kid you don’t realise a lot, but even as a kid you feel that pressure on yourself whether you like it or not.
 11 Hihim, te çend sala li wir xwend? Yatilî?
How many years did you study there? At the boarding school?
 12 Șeș sal.
Six years.
 13 Șeș sal?!
Six years?!
 14 Erê.           
Yes.            
 15 Bîra te tê wan dera?
Do you remember those places?
 16 Erê, ji bîra mi naçi jixwe. Hîç îmkan tine yanî ji bîra meriv here, çünkü ya aileke te ya dinê li wê çêdibe aslinda. A wisa tișkî ye.
Yes, it is always in my mind. There is no way that it will disappear from my memory, since you get to make a new family there. It is something like that.
 17 Tiștê ku ji wêr tên bîra te çi bûn meselen? Bêjin hevalînî, an tiștekê ko usa qet ji bîra mirovî naçî, tiștek tê bîra te ji wan sala?
The things that you remember from there, what were they for instance? Let’s say friendships, or something that never goes from your memory, do you remember something like that from those years?
 18 Erê ji wan sala aslinda pir tișt tên bîra min. Em/ mesea tevekî sebiyê wê derê, ji roya pazarê qe hez nedkirin. Çunkî roya pazarê hanî, roya dinê dibû pazartesî o mecbûr tu yê serê sibê biçîyay.
Yes, indeed from those years I remember many things. For instance all of the children there did not like Sundays. Because on Sunday, the following day would be Monday and you would have to go (to school).
 19 Dibû roya perșembê, bi șev hanî herkez bikêf bû çunkî ḥazirlixa malê dikir. Êê bibûya Cuma herkes biçîya yanî. Tevekî sebî diçûn malê ji bo wî hanî pir keyfa me tevekê dihate.
On Thursday, in the evening everyone was happy since they were getting ready to go home. On Friday everyone would leave. All the children would go home and for that reason we would all be very happy.
 20 Ji wî pê va ya mecbûrî, mesa merivkî ji tarîh bitirsê bîle, ha ti li wê bî hînî tarîhê bîle dibî. Çunkî mecbûrî hanî, ew mecbûrî anî tu hînî zeḥmetiya her tiștî her tiștî dibî. Mesela ji tarîhê ditirsî ama hînî tarîhê bîle dibî, tișkî a wisa ewk bû.
Apart from that you are required, for instance even if someone is afraid of history (class), if you are there you end up even learning history. Because you are required, and because of that requirement you get used to everything being difficult. For instance you become afraid of history but you even have to learn history, it was something like that.
 21 O mesela qe ji bîra mi naçe, mamosteyekekî me hebû, pir pir fașîst bû. Em sebî bûn yanî, en fazla ḥeșt salî wana bûn tê bîra mi yanî. Diçûm herhalde ya sisê ya dudoya. Ee serê sibê bû me nan dixwore. Hevalekekî me hebû, e-nizam kurmanc bû, ne kurmanc bû, yanî ewkê sebîtiye nayê bîra mi, hanî bi çi, ama ji bo bayraqê tișkî gotibû wisa.
And for instance I will never forget it, we had a teacher, he was a very fascist person. We were kids, at most eight years old, so I remember. I was either in the third or the second year. It was in the morning and we were eating. We had a friend, I do not know if s/he was Kurdish, that is the part of my childhood I can’t remember, for some reason, but s/he had said something about the flag.
 22 O sebî jî aqlê sebîtiyê çûbûn ji mamoste ra gotibûn. O mamoste em yêmekhanê bûn, ser nan bûn, li wî sebî xist ko kî milê sebî șikiya.
And the children, with their childishness, had told the teacher. And the teacher, we were in the dining hall, we were eating, he hit that child such that his/her arm broke.
 23 A wisa tișkî bû. Mesa wî çaẋî-y ana hanî bîna hev nî bû. Êê ana mi, mesa li mala me, yenê mi hene en ûfaq tișkî bibe, herkes diçe yanî, yek nikare qarșî yekî bide. Ama, li wê derê a wisa nî bû.
It was something like that. For instance back than it wasn’t the same as it is now. Now in our house, I have nephews/nieces, for the slightest issue, everyone goes (to school), and someone (a teacher) cannot hit someone (a child). But there it was not like that.
 24 Çünkü yatilî bû yanî pir haya ay, ewkê çênebû, ji boy wî, yanî mamoste [ba] ewk kiribû.
Because it was boarding school, that thing was not very aware, for that reason, the teacher had done something.
 25 Zilm lê kiribû?
He had tortured him/her?
 26 Erê.
Yes.
 27 Baș e, malbatek çawa da mezin bûy? Malbata te ʕayla te?
Well, in what kind of a family did you grow up in? Your family?
 28 Malbata min, yanî baxliyê gelenek û görenekê ne, ama tîșkî awa/ awa heye, yanî kurdbûna xo, xeberdar in, ama mese ewka önderlikê, yanî hînkî Kürda da heyi ya, tamam dibên em Kürd in, ewk in, anî ferqa her tiștî ne, ama nizanim îdî yanî zemanê wî da xalê mi pir kișandiye.
My family are attached to the customs and traditions, but they have something, that is they are aware of their Kurdishness, but for instance the thing of leadership, that is common among Kurds, they say okay we are Kurds, we are like, they are aware of everything, but I don’t know the rest, in the time my uncle has seen a lot.
 29 Alî bavê mi da jî pir çûne, pir tișt bûne, ji boy wî yanî li mal da, hanî pir ji van tișta yanî naxwazin xeber din. Awa mesa her tim bavê mi wana, yanî mesa em tirkî xeber din șer dikin.    
They have also oppressed my father a lot, a lot of things have happened, for that reason at home they don’t often talk about such things. For instance every time we speak in Turkish my father and the others get angry at us.
 30 Hanî Kurmancî ewk tikin, ew sorun nîne, ama mesela, yanî ez bawer im asinda, tevekî malbata wisa ne, ji bo sebiyê xo, aqas tișta dîtine kî hanî naxozin peyde bibe. Ya jî, mesa ewka önderlikê bîna felsefekî nizanin.    
That is they do like to Kurmanci (=they are sensitive towards Kurdish), it is not a problem, but I think all the families are like that, they have seen so much (trouble, oppression) that they don’t want it to happen to their children. Or for instance they don’t know the idea of the leadership’s philosophy.
 31 En azinda ji bo ʕayla xu bêm tam îșlemîș nekiriye, ko eyer îșlemîș bikiriye, gerekî mice yanî neditirsyan. Gerekî netirsiyana, çünkü yanî herkes ʕayla xu da herê bedela daye. Yekî nedaye heyi yanî?
At least for my family I would say it hasn’t worked through, because if it (the leadership’s philosophy) had worked through them, I think they would be afraid of anything. They should not have been afraid, since everyone has sacrificed in their family. Is there anyone who hasn’t sacrified (lit. given)?
 32 Kurdistanê tineye, ji boy wî yanî hînkî ez û diya xo yanî meriv pir bavê xwa ra nikare a wisa xeber de, mesafe ne ama ez û diya xwe jî ber van tișta pir xeber didin.
In Kurdistan there are none, for that reason me and my mum, that is one cannot speak to her father like that, there is distance, but with my mum we often speak about these things.
 33 O yanî diya mi her tim, hanî dibêje, yanî çi qasî mi re xeber de, erê dibê me vana vana dît, vana anîn serê me, ama saqin ewk yanî, tișkî bikî se mi bîne bîra xu! A wisa me dûr didin.
And my mother always says, whenever she speaks to me, yes she says we have seen this and that, they have put us in such and such trouble, but beware, if you do anything (dangerous) remind yourself of me! In that way they keep us away (from troubles).