S-045 Shaqlawa, Iraq

 1 [… bû] şehîd kira nemdît. Le tirsê ḥukmetî tazêyan danena. Kesim nehate kinê. Babîşî herwa, babîşî şehîd kira tazî danandra leber ḥukmetî newêran. Ewca mindarîşim hûrd bûn. ʕalemê yarmetî edayn. Bes niye?
Some of them were martyred (killed) who I didn’t see. Fearing the government, they didn’t mourn him. Nobody came to relieve me. His father was also martyred, but fearing the government they didn’t dare to mourn him. Besides, my children were still young. People were supporting us. Is it not enough?
 2 Feqîr bûyn, destkurt bûyn. Xesûwekim hebû hem dakîş bû hem xesûş bû. Ewî mindareke bar ekirdin. Em-iş le marê bûm şermim ekird biçime dzêyan îşî bikem. Eh ew xelas.
We were poor and humble. I had a mother-in-law who was just like a mother and sister to me. She raised my children. I stayed at home, feeling too shy to work outside. Ah, that is it.
 3 Xesûm mird û be tenê man û piyawê min le derbendî şeqrawê kujra-w, newêran tazêy dabnêyn, newêran biçîne ser qebrî-w. Kurr-îş le çîştananyan kuştim, neşimzanî heta sit/ yazde mang pê [çû]. Ewca [henginê] çûyn cenazeken hênawe [rrezi] keryan.
My mother-in-law died and I was alone. My husband was killed in the suburb of Shaqlawa. We didn’t dare to mourn him. We didn’t dare to hold a funeral for his death. His son was also killed in winter but I didn’t know until eleven months later. And then we went to bring back his body on a donkey ride.
 4 Eger îxtîdarim hebî, sarêk dû sar pê [çî] eçim sereçî le qebrekey edem, ziztanan le rrejî keryan. Dûr e, edî çî. biłme kurrî xuwa nekiranê hezar nisîbet û nigbet heya, pêm xoş niye. Heta be min bî be xo birê were ew da biçîn [..], em-îş pêm xoş niye. Ştêkyan lê bêtin xuwa nekiranê bibime serê sebeban. Neko ege be min bî, hemû buwaran etsim yan hemû payîzan etsim, çi bikem.
If I could afford it, I would visit his grave once every year or two in winter on free days. It is too far away, yes. I tell his sons that there might be misery and misfortune on the way and that’s why I don’t like (to visit his grave). I would prefer them to ask me to go and then we would go. If a misfortune happens to them, this will cause trouble. I wish I could go every spring or every autumn.
 5 çun cilkî dêynan, lêrem cilik eşuştin, şermim ekird biçime maran.
They used to bring clothes to wash here at home. I was too shy to visit my neighbourhood.
 6 Lo?
Why?
 7 Caḥêr bûm
I was too young.
 8 êh!
Eh!
 9 Êh êh, gelekim feqîrî w ẋerîbî dîtiye, gelek ʕalemê zulum lê kirdîme. Êh her lêy gerrê! ê emin dîtîye kes nebînê.
I experienced a lot of poverty and alienation, many people oppressed me. Just leave it! The life I experienced no one went through.
 10 Xûşkim nebûn.
I didn’t have sisters.
 11 Xûşkit nebûn?         
Didn’t you have sisters?
 12 Nah.              
No.                
 13 Edî tsend bira?
And how many brothers?
 14 tsar; sê biray heqî êkî zirr, ewîş ferqêy niye.
Four; three brothers and one half brother, who was like my brother.
 15 Mayne birakan?     
Are your brothers still alive?
 16 Nha weła nemayne
No, they died.
 17 Be tsi mirdîne?
How did they die?
 18 Yêk be seretanî lê hat û le xeman û […] kurryan rrim kird û, be naheq be ẋedir, be zulum.
One of them had cancer and a lot of distress. His son was executed.
 19 Eh            
Oh        
 20 Deger bîst û sêyî şeqraweyî.
Along with 23 men from Shaqlawa, going through oppression, unjust treatment and cruelty.
 21 Nawî tsi bû ew brayet?
What was the name of your brother?
 22 Nawî ***** bû.
His name was *****.
 23 êhdî êdî?         
And the other one?
 24 ***/ Bram ne, birazam.
Not my brother, my cousin.
 25 Birazat. êh edy birat nawî tsi bû?
Your cousin. So what was your brother’s name?
 26 Derbeder bûn û, ew biram be seretanî we [çû] le xemî kurrî-w, lêyan da-w,
We were displaced. That brother of mine suffered from cancer as well as grieving for his son and he was beaten,
 27 Eh                               
Oh                     
 28 Zicî sota-w, ser ew harîş lêyan da.
He was depressed. In spite of all this, he was beaten.
 29 Edî braye dît be tsi mirdîne?
And how did your other brother die?
 30 Ê dîş, ***** beray lê nebû. Marêy ******* nan xwardibû, awyan dabûye, nime nime baranî lê dehat, mangî yazde bû. Kitûpirr agaşin lê nebû, derkey kirdbowe rrast [ke lawazî bibû], pirrî dewî aw bibû, heta **** hat gutî ‘‘pilkê, pilkê, pilkê ***** mirde’’, pirr dewî aw bibû. (03:22-03:43)
The other one, ***** was not sick at all. He was at *****’s house, they invited him, it was raining, it was in November. He suddenly arrived home, opened the door and he collapsed, his mouth was full of water, then **** came and told me, Aunt, aunt ***** is dead”, his mouth was full of water.
 31 Heta kengî newzanîbû?
When did you know about it?
 32 Ewe ewan, me/ le meẋribêwe rra wey lê hatibû. Heta ni/ ni/ nizanim, demûdest wey lê hatibû, he derkey kirdbowe wey lê hatibû.
He became so (ill) from that evening. I don’t know, he immediately became so, no sooner he had opened the door, he had become ill.
 33 Her serbexo waylêhatbû, cełtew şit bû?
Without any reason, he fell sick, was it a heart attack or something?
 34 Na, hîç nexoş nebû. […] Beray lê nebû. Le marê bray nanî xward û, awyan dabûyê, pêy pê kenîbû.
No, he was not sick. He was not sick at all. He ate and drank at his brother’s house, he had fun there.
 35 Edî nenê ku bû xuşkit nebû?
So, grandma you didn’t have a sister?
 36 ***** eygû egû etû xûşkekit/ ego xûşkekin hebû nawî   ****** bû. Nawî çi bû eygû mird, eygû ewca etû bûy.
***** used to say that I had a sister whose name was ******. He said that she died and then I was born.
 37 Narê be ç’ mirdiye?
He didn’t tell you how she died?
 38 Na.                           
No.               
 39 Lo?       
Why?
 40 Le mêje, le mêje, qedîm, edî.
It was so long ago, long ago.
 41 Weła emin wekî xesûm hat hem dakîşim hem xesûş bû, em babê xo, babî emin lo xo be jin da. Sarêk dû sar mamewe, euca xom nasî euca eminyan bird. ḥeşt saran deger pyawê, deger babî ******* da bûm, nizanim ne şeş bû. Sê saran [le çiyaw] çolan egerra. Axirî le derbendî şeqrawêyan kuşt, hukmetî.
When my mother-in-law came (to live with us) who was just like my mother and sister, my father married me off for himself (so that in return he could marry a woman from the same family). I stayed at home for one or two years until I was grown up, then I was married off. I lived with *****’s father for six or eight years. He lived in the mountains for three years. Eventually, the government killed him in the suburb of Saqlawa.
 42 Hikumetî? Euca bexo be neneprî be tenê manewe, ha?
The government? Then you stayed as a lone grandma, yeah?
 43 Be tenê maynowe, heta çendeyek çend xestexaney kirdin, kes qisey lo nekird. Qewl bû cenaze le ewey bikêşin, le dûy turrumbêlî bîxin. Duway peşmerge le çiyay gotyan, wereqeyan nard gotyan, ‘wełłay we bîllayî ew piyawey bikêşin, destî kenê, debî şeqrawey bikene xak û xoł’. Ewca şuştiyan û kifniyan kird û. Emeş her [xełetî] nebû.
Yeah, I was alone. They took him to some hospitals, no one talked to him. The plan (by the government) was to haul his body, to haul it by car. Then the Pashmergas   from the mountains sent a letter stating, “We swear if his body to be hauled or abused, we will devastate Shaqlawa. Then they washed his body and buried him. We didn’t make any mistakes then.
 44 ʕewlad dege da bû, biram dege da bû, amozam dege da bû, […]. Kes qise lo nekirdim heta, heta direng. […] pê çû.
I wish the sons, my brother and my cousin were there with me, none of them came down to the town. No one told me anything (about his death) until later. It took us a long time.
 45 Edî nenepîr her ew mindarey hebû, êdî nebûn?
Then, grandma, he only had that child, no more children?
 46 Bedî, dûy sotan.              
Two of them burned to death.
 47 Be çî sotan?         
How did they burn?
 48 Caran tebiʕetê piyaw nebû çûba, mindar çûbane ser cêge gemey biken, awha aw û kanî bû, xo beluʕe nebuwe. Aw û kanîş xuwa bizanê çend dûr buwe. Çubûn destnwêjê hełgirê w hêndek awêj bênê, heta hatibo xoy le agir dabû, camaney kirasî sotabû. Piyawêkî aqrî tewaw nebû çubû de bin gufekêy nabû, de bin gufekê nabû.
During those days, men didn’t like their children to play outside. Drinking water facilities were not available. We were bringing water from a mountain stream that was too far away. They went to pray and also bring water until they arrived home, she burned to death, her clothes burned. A man who was mentally ill put them in the […].
 49 Gelek giçke bibû, mindar?
Was she a very little child?
 50 Pêweroke bû.      
She was little.        
 51 Diyare zor sutabû?
He burned seriously?
 52 Edî caran, xo derman ne/ nebû, hîç xestexane nebû, derman nebû. Eger nizanim xê simaqyan tê eda. (05:45-06:40)
Yes, those days medicine was not available, there was not a single hospital, no medicine. I don’t know if they used to put vinegar on it or not!
 53 Êh weye. Edî ê dî be çi mird?
Yeah, that is true. And how did the other one die?
 54 Ê dîş eygû be ketnê ketim agam lê nebû, eygû le dolanê, eygû pirrî dewî […]. Eygû miribû.
He said the other child fell over, I was not aware, the child played and fell over from the roundabout, he said his mouth was full of …. He said he died.
 55 Ewca ewe le mêrdêçî, weniya? Le çilûmêrdî dî waḥîdî hebû?  
So he was from another husband? He had a half sibling from another couple?
 56 Na, le babê min çi nebûn xo.
No, he had no one from my father.
 57 Neybû?                 
Didn’t he?                         
 58 Êh babê ******* le derbendî şeqrawey kujra. Dûy be sotinê çûn, êkiş be mirinê xo, ewa çwar.
*****’s father was also killed in the suburb of Shaqlawa. Two (of the children) burned to death, one died naturally, so all are four (children).
 59 Tsar mindar?
Four children?
 60 Ah, be babê ******* rra. Ege ew maban lo ew hemû xefet lo ******* ebûn. Ege kurrê dîm maban lo hemû xefetin […] Sittare ebûn.
Yeah, from *****’s father. If he were alive, I wouldn’t grieve that much for Star. If my second son were alive I wouldn’t grieve that much for *****.
 61 Be tenê, be tenê.
By your own, by your own.
 62 Edî, wełła dakit bimrê, zigim pê sûtê […]
Ya, I swear, I grieve for him […].